To My Ex-Husband

I recently finished a book from Susan Dundon, "To My Ex-Husband". Heck, I may have written about it already, but I can't recall.

It's a great read that's pretty much on target as to how I felt and what I have been through (at least the early part of it). There is this one section, that goes through my mind over and over again...

"I keep having this feeling we're sliding toward a divorce neither of us really wants. And I have to ask, are we letting this happen, or are we making it happen? The answer is, we are not making it not happen."

That's how I feel a lot, but then again I don't because he's made it pretty clear that he's fallen out of love with me. I just still can't get over the fact that "we" aren't trying to make this work. Yes, we went to individual therapy and couples thereapy and he went to AA, BUT it ended up becoming about individual discovery - especially for him, and not necessarily time on our relationship. It's not like once couples therapy was over, we suddenly went on a trip - just us, together or went on a ton of dates or anything. Fortunately, unfortunately he connected only with his AA people and maybe he just got tired of recounting all his stories a second time to a wife. On top of that, perhaps his attraction to me just faded - why not? I'm not the same woman he married.