It's been a while since I've written. That is usually a good thing then. That means distracted happiness rather than melancholy lonely moments where my brain wanders.
So what has been happening then? Well I'm back on track for work and I've committed to being there for one more dinner.
It also means that I've been doing things with friends like watching an LL Cool J concert and hitting up Dine L.A.
And it also happens to mean that I've been seeing hubby again. In fact, we hung out all yesterday and evening. We got each other Vday gifts and all that and well, it felt good to be with him. Really good which scares the hell out of me, but I try to take it one day at a time. We made no plans for today, which is fine. And I try and not think that there is anyone else or anything else. So I focus on me.
We have a new dog - Daisy. She's a dobie and she's great. Needs some work but relatively gets along with Raider.
I want this to work - that is me and hubby. But who knows? I keep a measured distance from true hope - keep the idea at bay and try not to let myself get resentful of the situation entirely. I mean, what is all of this?
One day at a time. Are we still married? Are we faithful to one each other? Monagamous? Are we still to support each other? If I found out I had some dreadful disease would he be here WITH me?
Okay, see it's happening - I'm thinking beyond just the now.
Back to reality. Me in bed, by myself on my laptop (that he gave me), about to turn on the flatscreen tv (that he gave me for v-day). Nice, right? I texted him that the real gift was him though. I didn't give him anything like that of the sort - can't afford it. Some candles, a fish, box full of reese's peanut butter cups, and a book of love thoughts from me.
It's freezing.
