Another Period...

Another period has passed. Oh joy. At least I'm not crying like I did at one point.

So I believe I'm nine days or so into my "cycle". I've already forgotten three days in a row to take my temp. Lovely. The chart is already off. I'm such a winner.

Oh Please...

So of course I watch HBO's, Tell Me You Love Me - and yes it gets a ton of flack for all the "gratuitous" sex scenes, but I actually believe it's quite truthful--other than the fact that the couple trying to have sex for a year, finally gives up and now she's pregnant. Oh please. I keep on hearing that from folks - "Stop trying and then it'll happen." B.S.

It may seem that way, but the reality for me and hubby is that that's not the case.

Damn, Now I Feel Guilty

Aw hell. Now I feel guilty! I called out friends and family on their pregnancies and it's not their fault and it makes me feel even worse when they say, "Oh I have something to tell you, but we were waiting to tell you guys, because well uh, yeah, we know you're trying."

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Really, I swear everyone it is OKAY that YOU ARE PREGNANT AND WE AREN'T.

Oops, got to go. Hubbyis on the phone.

Web MD Says...

Jesus...and I've been wondering why I haven't gotten pregnant? Web MD says,

"You should see a doctor if you have not become pregnant after 1 to 2 years of trying. Here, "trying" means having unprotected intercourse an average of 3 times a week, but not more often than every 36 hours.
The best place to start is at your primary care or ob-gyn's office, not at a specialized fertility clinic. The fertility problem may turn out to be quite simple, such as not having intercourse near the time of ovulation."

Are they FRIGGIN kidding me? I'M MARRIED FOR GODSAKE! Who in their right mind is married and has sex three times a week? Really though, it's been something like three years (maybe even more, I don't even remember) - you'd think we'd hit ovulation at the right time sooner or later. Three times? Okay I suppose all married women are just having sex like rabbits and I'm the unusual one?

I'm telling you, I have to be 16, an idiot, and totally drunk to get pregnant. Or I have to have just gotten off the pill.

I have no idea where I read that once you get off the pill you should "wait a while so that it gets out of your system." That is a load of bullshit. Ladies, once you get off the pill you're fertile as a mo'fo. At least everyone around us has hit the lottery with that effort.

I'm just bitter. Everyone around me is pregnant. I mean I'm not bitter that they're pregnant, just bitter that we can't seem to get pregnant. Who is pregnant? Let's see...

Best Friend - TWINS - and she has been a smoker for like 20 years and her hubby is a toker.
Other Best Friend - Just had her second kid a year ago.
Best Friend's Sister - She just had her daughter like three months ago.
Ex Boyfriend - His wife is pregnant and she's like THIRTY FIVE dude.
Hubby's Boss - His wife is now having her second.
Hubby's co-worker - His wife just had their second.
Hubby's ex co-worker - He was a smoker like forever and she's like THIRTY SIX.
Cousin - Due this November.

There are more - so many, that I can't even list. I actually think we're their good luck charm.

So of course all the things run through my mind like:

• "Maybe it's just not meant to be."
• "Maybe we're being punished. I mean of course, we're selfish bastards who love to drink and eat sushi and we'll probably cuss the hell out of our kid(s)."
• "Maybe we are suposed to adopt."
• "Maybe this just isn't the right time."

So some of you may ask, "Well why don't you just go to a fertility doctor?"

Well, hell. I don't know why not. I mean I have a regular period. I got some blood tests done - got my vajayjay checked and his semen got checked too. All looks pretty normal. Sure, in a couple months I guess I'll just check out a fertility doctor, but hell do I want to open that pandora's box of poking, prodding and analyzing? Wouldn't I rather just get that kind of hell during an adoption process and at least think I may be helping out a kid that actually exists? OH the drama!

Okay that's enough for the evening. This may be my only post because I'm just too damn lazy to write. It's bad enough I'm not having sex three times a week!