Bitter

I'm obviously bitter. Well it's not obvious to you, but it is to me when I watch a movie like THE ASTRONAUT'S FARMER. It's a beautiful movie about dreams, but as I'm watching it, it just reminds me of men and their dreams and the women that love, support and do everything possible to support their men. And why some women will do everything to crush a man's dreams - BECAUSE nowhere are there movies, books, stories of men pushing for their woman's dreams! It doesn't happen. I don't see it. Even Hillary who ran for president - an amazing feat, the way the media portrayed it, it wasn't about dreams - it was framed as a calculated climb to power. Or even Pallin, whether or not I liked her, her place was just circumstance, but not about women's dreams to hold office, to have power over the free world.

I guess I'm just hurting right now. I am reminded that whatever I do to try and keep, hold, be with my husband, at the end of the day unfortunately, it's his call. So what is my dream? Is it just to be a wife? Yes, that is definitely part of my dream. To be a mother? Yes, part of my dream. To live simply? Absolutely. And maybe one day, to travel to Italy and eat there. Dreams don't have to be huge, but they still need to be supported by the ones you love and the ones that surround you. And maybe it's just me, but women don't get that same support from men the way they give it to their men. But I am also aware that women can be the first to criticize a dream, but again, it goes back to women and the burden that has been placed on them (some by themselves) to deal with the reality of everyday life.

I'm not even sure I'm making sense. It's hard for me to articulate.

And that's why I think I'm just bitter and angry. I miss my husband. I guess really it shouldn't be about one person propping up the other, but about facing the trials, tribulations and jubilations together. If only...