At a Crossroads

I think the he and me are at a crossroads.  We're each thirty one and have now been married just about seven years.  We have the house, the cars, the jobs and the stress.  So what's next?  A kid, but of course as you know I'm not pregnant.

I had explained that we saw the doctor and you'd think that'd set us on the right path but a week after, the hubby and I had one of our biggest blowups yet.  It's such a mix of emotions and his stress at work doesn't help things whatsoever.  I know he's disappointed.  He said that he wanted to be a dad before thirty and now well, we're older than thirty.  I personally think he's having an early mid-life crisis.  Sometimes I want to kick him and say, "Snap out of it!  You are one of the luckiest people in the world - you should be grateful, rather than disappointed."  But he's his own person with his own feelings and I can't negate that.  But it makes me wonder a little...what if?  What if we don't have kids?  What if we have a kid with a developmental disability?  Can he handle it?  Can he put up with it?  I have no idea.

And me?  How am I feeling?  Still confused and a little lost.  I am extremely grateful and thankful for my general circumstances but I've been in a funk as well.  Still not pregnant and a good friend of mine at work just left.  And then of course, working and not feeling like I'm accomplishing much, but hey, whatever.  This too shall pass.

So my boobs hurt like hell which means my period is on its way.  That means I'll be taking the next test - some fallopian tube thing.  Joy.